.

i am writing. im actually writing, without stopping,
im writing about this year, about past years,
about how im feeling now and how i have felt.
about things ive done, am doing and am going to do.
finally, its actually flowing, huge release.
its not blogging, its unleashing my mind on this moleskin and it doesnt matter that no one sees.
It matters that i can actually get it out,
its sad, im growing up yet becoming that kid again that will always be in me.
I look around my room and i see my buzz next to me, toys on my shelf, kids books and magazines and the rest is a desk covered in pencils, paint and so much paper..
Next year i will really create.
Its all a choice, everything.
Ive always known this and its always been a battle but maybe this new year i will truly fight.
maybe i will understand hope, that maybe its in me to seek out not somewhere else..
maybe this fear will go away,
maybe ill be better,
maybe ill be bold,
maybe ill stand up
and believe what i want
and be how i want
and not let anyone make me feel inferior.
Maybe ill see all of you,
those who are so precious to me,
maybe ill see hope flood your blogs, flood your homes, flood your hearts and minds,
maybe we'll all become better, greater.
We can do it.
Lets make the choice in this new year.
Itll only ever be up to us.
Lets be aware of every moment, every feeling, every decision.
Every little thing that turns us into us...
Lets wake up.