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why are things made so complicated that are supposed to be simple? why does it all hurt so much? too much. why do i just want an escape? why cant i see hope? why is it so hard? why do i keep doing this? why do i always end up on the bathroom floor.. why do i have to push every single one away? why do i do this? what the hell am i doing? this isnt life. where do i belong? i dont know where. i really dont.. i hate that i write this blog. why do i not confine it to my moleskin? it should be kept away. secret pain. I dont seek attention, i dont seek anyone or anything, im only mad at myself. only ever me.. this is way too overwhelming this time.. theres tears hitting the floor..