.

growing up
i always played 'cover up'
alot of the time without thinking.
smiles were easy.
answering 'how are you' with 'good' was just an innocent reaction
always good at being polite.
nice talk, when you should say 'excuse me' 'please' and 'thankyou'
always show coutesy
sometimes too much
friends would start to say 'youre too nice' 'you dont need to say sorry, its lost its meaning'
if something was wrong, i covered up behind the automatic smiles, behind the good manners, behind the coutesy, behind putting pthers first, before me all the time, every time
its all very nice
but it comes to a point where my own worth has diminished
and, im not a welcome mat, but others are always more than me
and its not done in an obvious way, i just put others forward
it doesnt matter when youre not the spotlight
theres always been one ahead of me,
the one who shows a problem clearer than me