.

ive started to own this again.
i woke up this morning with a stain on my sheet and tshirt.. frig.
didnt think it was that bad.. idiot.
and last night on the train home i picked up a bottle cap and remembered what id done before.
but you want to take that cap off me, even though i didnt end up doing anything with it.
except keep it.
theyre going to start talking about this in boom, or at least with the leaders, so they know how to deal with it and whatnot. i hope leaders dont shrug kids off.
i dont know what this is for me.
after the first mark, i kept on going without realising and didnt feel a thing.
and now.
its back.
after months.
its here again, and worse than before.
much worse.

"weakness to do it, strength to stand it"