.

tonight, went to skatepark for urbs for a bit, some fellas on scooters and bikes, gave them free chocolate & coke, such cool kids... ran around the gravel ramp thingys, used to play there when i was little. fun times.

hung out on the trampoline at beks after that. then headed inside and went through a massive list of names of people who dont come to boom anymore. and we talked about how we started coming to boom.

flashbacks or what?

kids i never see anymore. one girl i used to know, i heard shes pregnant now, shes about 16.. another girl would be hitting yr12 soon i think, i saw around the street in sunburs, near the train station yelling at boys. another i run into at the shops and they tell me they need to go to hospital for something potentially serious. my my, people change.

i was 15 when i started at boom and it took a leader 6 months to drag me along to an event, week after week i would say i couldnt go to urban cos i had to practice drums, or i couldnt go to boom cos i had a party, and i did a paper round on weekends...

i refused to go to the alter call at my first boom, i was asked several times... i remember that night on the bus home, i met a million people and my arm had emails, names and phone numbers written allover it, new friends. ha.. i even remember what i wore (tartan shirt, black tshirt, grey pants and orange chucks..) where i sat and what songs they played. i remember boom beat (boom tv now) i remember everything...

the next week i responded to the alter call, wearing tartant pants, black tshirt with a white long sleeve underneath, i sneaked through the crowd into an open space in front of the stage and i stayed with my leader right there, we said the prayer but didnt go out the back, it was different back then, we just stayed there and i was crying and crying..

i remember so much...

i remember buying my first bible.

i remember underlining verses.

i remember changing all my music

i remember hanging out with different people

i remember my first urban

i remember my first camp

i remember my first prayers

i remember when a bunch of kids were going to invade boom with stink bombs and water pistols but leaders found out and stopped it

i remember boom academy

i remember leaders leaving

i remember old school bus rides

i remember

but what does it mean now?

i cant just, keep remembering. keep looking back.

that wont shove me forward.